MONTHLY MESSAGE from TRACY, KATE & MEG
January/February 2010 Message - Loosening the Knots That Bind Us
From a spiritual perspective, relationships are the messy and marvelous setting for working out our separate and shared stories, as we grow in our capacity for connection with ourselves and with others. ~ The Three Sisters
People often comment to us that it must be wonderful to have such a great relationship as sisters. As we talked recently about people's perceptions of our relationship, we remembered a walk we all took together this summer with five dogs. On a beautiful sunny day we met to take a calm, relaxing walk with each other. Each of us had a dog or two in tow on leashes of various lengths. As we walked and talked on a quiet road we gave the dogs a little more leash and some freedom to run and roam. While we were all enjoying the day, it wasn't long before the dogs had circled, jumped, wandered and played around us enough that their leashes became a tangled up, knotted up mess with us caught in the middle. As we worked to free ourselves and the dogs, Meg, who processes and talks in wonderful metaphors, commented that the mess was a lot like relationships. She reflected that when you walk closely with other people who have their own internal patterns and stories going on, there will be times when we become mixed up and tangled up together, despite our very best intentions to keep things peaceful and harmonious.
In the month of February we celebrate Valentines Day and there is a lot of talk, attention and commercial revenue devoted to love and relationships. But whether we are talking about a relationship with a spouse, a love interest, a family member, or an intimate friend, most of us know that in real life relationships aren't just a series of hallmark moments. While relationships provide us with a sense of connection, stability, love and satisfaction, they are also a source of challenge and learning if we are willing to engage consciously with those we love. From a spiritual perspective, relationships are the messy and marvelous setting for working out our separate and shared stories, as we grow in our capacity for connection with ourselves and with others. But too often we stop engaging when it gets uncomfortable or messy, and feel disappointed and betrayed by the relationship. If we understood that relationships are where we all are learning the lessons of life, we might have more patience with the mess.
The lesson of this walking story is that the closer and more intimately you walk with someone, the greater the risk of getting tangled up. If we want to have deep, rich and intimate relationships, however, we will have to hazard the possibility that at times it will get messy and uncomfortable. As sisters we love and appreciate each other at a deep level and share an intimacy which feeds all of our hearts and souls. But we still have moments when we end up unintentionally in a knotted up mess and have to find a way to work it out. The secret to our relationship and to intimate relationships in general, is a willingness to engage deeply, to slow down when we hit a mess, and to patiently untangle the knots. Those knots are usually created by misperceptions and misunderstandings, by poor communication, by the pressures and challenges of life, by our hidden traumas and wounds, or by a lack of time and attention. But the lesson of our walk is that when things get messy everyone needs to slow down, breathe deeply, and pay attention to carefully unwinding and releasing the knots. With a spirit of compassion, forgiveness and patience, most knots can be undone, and the gifts of an intimate relationship with another person are well worth the occasional mess.
We wish you rich and full relationships and the patience and perseverance to work out the knots with those you love as you create the life you imagine.
Blessings from the Sisters,
Tracy, Kate and Meg
